COMMUNICATING IN ENGLISH – BY PHONE

It is widely accepted that, at an international level, people tend to communicate in English. In this age of mobile phones, this is especially more and more frequent. Could that be the reason why there are so many misunderstandings in the world of international politics? Those who cannot speak and understand this language find it very difficult to progress in their career and run the risk of making fools of themselves.

The following was sent to me recently and appears to be copyright of a certain Morten Ingemann. The document is entitled “communication.jpg”. I have decided not to reproduce the drawings in order to avoid offending anyone. The dialogue, though, is absolutely hilarious and clearly illustrates the dilemma. That particular telephone conversation, in Spanish or French, would have taken a different turn, of course. It would not, however, have been anywhere near as funny!

- Name?
- (Any foreign name will do) (my remark)
- Sex ?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no… I mean, male or female?
- Male, female. Sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes. Cows, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn’t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style.
- Oh dear!
- No. no! Deer run too fast.

OF COURSE, IT MIGHT WELL HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TYPICAL UNREQUESTED MARKET RESEARCH CAMPAIGNS DONE BY PHONE, IN WHICH CASE I WOULD HAVE PROBABLY GIVEN VERY SIMILAR ANSWERS!